True Essence

In the next four months and eighteen or so days left of being 33 years old, I am going to do a lot of digging and diving into who I truly am.  I am going to get to know my truest essence.   I don’t want to turn another year older without knowing, appreciating and valuing me.  I am going to love on myself harder.  I am going to dance more. Each day will be full of love for the things that bring out the best version of me.  Today, I discovered that I depend too much on porn to help me enjoy my body.  How and why should an outside source help me discover what I love and value about my body.  I think I have only ever had two other non-porn inspired masturbation sessions.  As a 33 year old man, that sounds very sad.  I guess that is what happens whn you don’t get the guidance on sex from the “male” figure in your life.  I pray one day,  I will be blessed to have children and have healthy conversations with them about sex and pleasure.  Me reading this book “Pleasure Activism” has truly changed my outlook on all the things I have felt so much shame for as a human being who has had many sexual encounters.

“Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions—is not from the Father but is from the world. And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever.” 1 John 2:15-17

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